30 Sep

We all have bad habits. All of us. And I´m not talking about the guilty pleasures, the smoking or the binge-watching, I´m talking about the ones we are unaware of. That´s the worst part of it. That we don´t realise about them. Because they are right there, in our blind spot. We cross other people´s boundaries but we don´t see it. We talk too much, but we don´t hear it. We brag, annoy, irritate, neglect, manipulate or harm, all without recognising that this is what we are actually doing. And when we do become aware of these bad habits (because we´ve crossed one line too many, because someone bluntly tells us, or because we find ourselves in a situation where it simply cannot be denied), then this bad habit explodes in our face and hurts us to the core. Then we can either run from it and shout: this is not me, this is not what it looks like AT ALL, I have NOTHING to do with this. Or we can let that feeling of repulsion wash over us and serve as our catharsis. We can say: yes, this is me, but I´ll do better from now on. I have made this mistake, and I accept it. I accept myself. I am, after all, a human being. I will learn from it instead of hate myself for it. And now I will move on.


2 Responses to “Redemption”

  1. Joke Francois October 31, 2018 at 14:46 #

    Heel mooi en heel waar. En ook heel moeilijk. Erkenning maakt je kwetsbaar, maar tegelijk authentiek. Is dat niet hoe je in het leven wil staan, praat ik mezelf moed toe, als er nog eens iets ontploft is in mijn gezicht en ik iets wil goedmaken maar bang ben. En dan doen en loslaten en verder gaan, misschien nog wel het moeilijkste deel…

    • Kathleen November 1, 2018 at 09:46 #

      Dat boek van Brené Brown dat ik van jou heb gekregen, helpt me daar heel vaak bij! Ik grijp regelmatig terug naar dat beeld van de arena, waarin we kwetsbaar maar krachtig proberen overeind te blijven…

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