Redemption

We all have bad habits. All of us. And I´m not talking about the guilty pleasures, the smoking or the binge-watching, I´m talking about the ones we are unaware of. That´s the worst part of it. That we don´t realise about them. Because they are right there, in our blind spot. We cross other people´s boundaries but we don´t see it. We talk too much, but we don´t hear it. We brag, annoy, irritate, neglect, manipulate or harm, all without recognising that this is what we are actually doing. And when we do become aware of these bad habits (because we´ve crossed one line too many, because someone bluntly tells us, or because we find ourselves in a situation where it simply cannot be denied), then this bad habit explodes in our face and hurts us to the core. Then we can either run from it and shout: this is not me, this is not what it looks like AT ALL, I have NOTHING to do with this. Or we can let that feeling of repulsion wash over us and serve as our catharsis. We can say: yes, this is me, but I´ll do better from now on. I have made this mistake, and I accept it. I accept myself. I am, after all, a human being. I will learn from it instead of hate myself for it. And now I will move on.