Reflection

22 May

Like a shy child

covering its red cheeks

he tries to hold back the love

that radiates from his face.

 

But she´s seen it

and beams it back.

Oh, to find your moon

in this infinite space.

 

 

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8 Responses to “Reflection”

  1. Kathleen May 22, 2016 at 11:28 #

    Just a little love poem I´ve dug up from an old notebook…
    I´m not too sure about the last sentence though. If anyone has a idea to improve it, I´m open to suggestions.

    • ZurkPoetry May 22, 2016 at 11:37 #

      Hi Kathleen! This poem is a joy to read, the imagery is spot on. It’s showing how simple it can be I think 😊 I’m not sure about the last line, if you hadn’t said anything I probably wouldn’t have questioned it, but now that you have 😉 perhaps ending with a reference to light instead of dark would match the mood of the poem? Love to see what you decide if you change it! – Zoe 😁

      • Kathleen May 22, 2016 at 11:42 #

        Hey Zoe, thank you for your kind comment! I tried to make that line end with “black” so that it would rhyme with “back”, but something about light might actually make it more powerful… that´s a really good idea. I´m going to think about it and see if I can get that in 🙂

      • ZurkPoetry May 22, 2016 at 11:48 #

        I know, as a poet we sometimes are a bit trapped by rhymes, at least I know I am! Looking forward to seeing what you come up with 😊

  2. Kathleen May 22, 2016 at 12:37 #

    How about:

    Oh, to find your moon
    in this infinite space”

    Still a bit melodramatic, but it´s shorter, so it fits better… And that way it rhymes with “face”.

    I tried to get the light in, but couldn´t really come up with anything that fits…

  3. myriam dings May 22, 2016 at 16:04 #

    Wat een geluk dat we zomaar niet alle “oude” dingen weggooien 🙂

  4. Joke May 24, 2016 at 18:27 #

    Ik zucht en droom een hele avond weg… Heerlijke poëzie die tot de verbeelding spreekt.

    • Kathleen May 24, 2016 at 19:48 #

      Oooh, dankje voor het mooie compliment!

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