Like a shy child
covering its red cheeks
he tries to hold back the love
that radiates from his face.
But she´s seen it
and beams it back.
Oh, to find your moon
in this infinite space.
Like a shy child
covering its red cheeks
he tries to hold back the love
that radiates from his face.
But she´s seen it
and beams it back.
Oh, to find your moon
in this infinite space.
Just a little love poem I´ve dug up from an old notebook…
I´m not too sure about the last sentence though. If anyone has a idea to improve it, I´m open to suggestions.
Hi Kathleen! This poem is a joy to read, the imagery is spot on. It’s showing how simple it can be I think 😊 I’m not sure about the last line, if you hadn’t said anything I probably wouldn’t have questioned it, but now that you have 😉 perhaps ending with a reference to light instead of dark would match the mood of the poem? Love to see what you decide if you change it! – Zoe 😁
Hey Zoe, thank you for your kind comment! I tried to make that line end with “black” so that it would rhyme with “back”, but something about light might actually make it more powerful… that´s a really good idea. I´m going to think about it and see if I can get that in 🙂
I know, as a poet we sometimes are a bit trapped by rhymes, at least I know I am! Looking forward to seeing what you come up with 😊
How about:
Oh, to find your moon
in this infinite space”
Still a bit melodramatic, but it´s shorter, so it fits better… And that way it rhymes with “face”.
I tried to get the light in, but couldn´t really come up with anything that fits…
Wat een geluk dat we zomaar niet alle “oude” dingen weggooien 🙂
Ik zucht en droom een hele avond weg… Heerlijke poëzie die tot de verbeelding spreekt.
Oooh, dankje voor het mooie compliment!